Communication, Corruption, and Stuff
Before I went off-the-grid a few months back, I started to notice more direct responses to my articles (and the writing of other bloggers) by ministers. The responses were arrogant, narrow-minded, and dictatorial. It was overwhelmingly obvious that they weren’t actually reading (listening) to what we were writing, but rather, they were selecting specific snippets from the articles that they felt they could argue or defend. There was no opening for true dialogue. There was no hint of empathy or love.
And I could not help but laugh out loud when recently, the first article I post in months is responded-to by a minister who does exactly the same thing. Like those ministers from months ago, his main attack on me and others like me is that we express our feelings, questions, fears and frustration under a pseudonym.
I am not 100% right, and I know it. Like all humans, I am susceptible to occasional errors.
I am always open to intelligent and respectful debate. That is how we learn.
What the ministers – both then and now – fail to see and understand is:
- I sincerely, wholeheartedly wish and pray that I didn’t feel the need to write the articles I write.
- I yearn for the day when sites like those run by William Smith and Manny Ebangelista and Fawkes Rizal and so many others are no longer necessary.
What these antagonistic ministers and our current Church leadership fail to ask is:
- “Why are our Brethren creating pseudonyms and websites like this?”
- They weren’t necessary before.
- Why is that?
Over the last year, I’ve heard hundreds of stories – many of them mirroring mine.
For decades, we members were allowed to ask our ministers and district ministers any question that concerned us, and we had absolutely no fear of rejection or reprisal. In fact, the ministers (then) were eager to answer our questions to the best of their ability. And, on those rare occasions when they had no clear answer to our questions, they did not hesitate to send the question to the next person in the chain of command in the hopes that they would have an answer. For more than 30 years, I almost never had to go beyond my locale minister for answers.
Then came the time when, slowly, questions became something “bad”. Instead of sincere, researched and empathetic answers, we began to receive the response “Simply submit!” And, for a while, I did.
But then – the need for answers became more and more frequent because the decisions being made, the severe change in lessons and hymns, and the steadily increasing arrogance and authoritarian nature of our ministers became less and less tolerable. This is when being able to ask questions would have easily allayed the concerns and fears of the Brethren – but, we were no longer free to ask those questions.
“Simply Submit!” was all we got in return, along with subtle and not-so-subtle threats (depending on the minister) that additional questions would be considered as
Then the lessons started saying the same thing. Submit, or be marked as a rebel!
I know that there are many out there that are more concerned about money mismanagement than anything else. I understand this. Is there money mismanagement going on? I have no idea. I’ve read the articles (just like you) and some of them cause genuine concern, while others are obvious exaggerations. But it wasn’t the money issues that initially drove me to write under a pseudonym in the first place. Those fears were much more basic.
But, before I address them, let’s tackle one very important point:
Corruption. What does that word mean?
Of course, there are the more extreme synonyms: fraud, perversion, immorality, debasement. For some, the word “Corruption” is often used as a slap across the leadership’s face in relation to perceptions of money mismanagement. These Brethren (and ex-Brethren) can easily trace a line that says that all of the inexplicable things the leadership has done in the last few years is simply a means of covering up their poor money management.
For me, however, the synonyms for “Corruption” that make more sense and have more impact are: dishonesty, degeneracy, distortion, and harm. There have always been bad ministers: The young, inexperienced ministers; the ones with horrible tempers; the ones who hold biases and prejudices; the ones who are fighting individual vices; the ones who have no real Life Experience and, therefore, have no ability to counsel or lead. I’ve known these ministers. These weren’t all necessarily bad people, but, for a time, they were definitely bad ministers.
Under the previous leadership, the damage these ministers could do was minimized because there was a process in place that allowed the Brethren to shine a light on their actions (or inactions) and give them an opportunity for correction and growth. Those that embraced this system were the ones that showed the greatest growth and maturation. They became the best ministers I ever knew. While others who loathed this system would eventually run away from the Church, or may eventually be expelled. Others returned as simple members.
Perhaps being a minister was not what God had intended for them. I don’t know.
But now, this system is no longer in place. No one can question a minister anymore. If you try to contact a district minister about questionable actions by your locale minister, the response is “Simply Submit!”
It is this environment – one with no light – where corruption can grow and spread. And it is within this dark growth that – in addition to their unanswered questions – tends to add to the uncertainty of some Brethren.
So, when I read comments and posts by INC ministers that are arrogant, dismissive, callous, and lack empathy, I am easily reminded of why I am Bro Nico.
When I look on the Facebook pages of ministers and district ministers and see cartoons and caricatures of ex-members, ex-ministers, I am reminded even more of why I am Bro Nico.
When I hear of a young sister who is expelled from the Church simply because her parents were expelled, and that she received no prior notification, no warning, and no reason. Then in the following worship service, we receive a lesson that contains verses that stress that The Child shall not suffer for the sins of the father, it is these times that I am reminded of why I am Bro Nico.
The ministers I know and love are those that still (despite intense pressure, I’m sure) do their best to follow the spirit of the lessons they teach.
We recently had a wonderful (and very rare) lesson that had absolutely nothing to do with the importance of being an INC member or blind obedience or giving offering or propagation. The entire lesson was simply How to Be a Good Member. (paraphrasing).
In it, our minister stressed the importance of members showing love and patience and courtesy and integrity to each other. To correct with empathy and patience. To be open to communication (especially listening) and to listen with love. To turn the other cheek. To avoid gossip. He stressed the importance of being able to say that we did absolutely everything we possibly could for our Brother or Sister before their name was even considered for expulsion.
For the first time in over a year, I smiled after this lesson.
For the first time in over a year, my heart felt a little lighter.
Logically, this same lesson should have been communicated in the same manner to all of the other locales across the world too. But, from experience, I know that the message of that lesson likely varied widely from Chapel to Chapel – depending on who was giving it. I know that this is true – from experience.
This is the kind of lesson that you want to call your family and friends in other Locales and share your enthusiasm with them, and it is sad when you hear that the message they received was only a shadow of what you heard. That, in their Locale, the messages of Obey and Give Money and Propagate and One with EVM still bled into the sermon, corrupting the positivity and restorative energy of the real message.
To ministers who take the time to attack or challenge the writings of people like me, please take a moment to ask yourself:
- Were writers like me necessary before?
- If we could talk to you, would we feel the need to write our articles – articles that are usually filled with unanswered questions?
So, next time – before you ask the asinine question of “Why do you hide your name?” please take a moment to re-read the above article. Or – perhaps use a little bit of common sense. We’ve already tried time and again to speak with you face-to-face. We were met with a wall of insensitivity and (I think) insecurity.
That is why (in part) I am Bro Nico.
Please know that I have no hate for you. In fact, I love you dearly and pray for you and all of my Brothers and Sisters daily. I ask that you pray for me and others like me as well.
That’s what a real minister of God would do.